Sunday Read: A Pirate Passes and Stirs Fond Memories

Jimmy Buffett brought me a memory of a lifetime

Digging in the Dirt

You may have noticed I took a break from the Sunday Read’s for a bit. I found myself sitting down at my laptop and staring at a blinking cursor with nothing to say. These posts have been an outlet for me to tell stories of the people, experiences, and moments that I’ve learned from or treasured over the years. Sometimes they get very personal and sometimes it’s not easy to tap into that well of memory or emotion.

I found myself in that place for a few weeks. Sometimes dwelling on the past can hold you back from embracing the now. So, I apologize for leaving you all with a slim repertoire of updates for a bit and will endeavor to provide a steady stream of thoughts, news, and perspective as we head into the fall.

Green Day Gets It

September has always been my most uncomfortable month. While it starts with my birthday it also contains the anniversaries of some of the most painful losses of my life. I used to approach the month like the Green Day song, ‘Wake me up when September ends.’ It seems fitting and on brand that we lost Jimmy Buffett as the month began this year.

I only saw Jimmy perform one time on July 15^th, 1994, in Nashville, Tennessee at the Starwood Amphitheater. Just a fantastic show with all his hits and favorites in front of thousands of fans. It was one of the last events my wife Jennifer and I attended before her car accident just two months later.

Jimmy Buffett performs in 1994

A remarkable and sometimes annoying talent

Jennifer was five months pregnant at the time. One of her remarkable skills was memorizing every song ever written. I wish I was exaggerating. Growing up her parents had a radio on in the kitchen constantly playing all of the hits from the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s. Jenn heard them all and would belt out nearly anything that came on the radio.

One of my most vivid memories of her is on a gorgeous fall day driving across the bridge over the Hudson into Newburgh, New York after a trip to visit her family in Albany. In the passenger seat Jenn was emphatically singing the 1961 hit song by Dion, ‘I’m a Wanderer’ emphatically with the requisite dance moves and emotions into her outstretched thumb as a microphone.

She had unique skills. Her vast repertoire also included all of Jimmy Buffett’s hits as well. So, the concert was a sing along as much as anything.

So, we found ourselves in the grass singing and dancing while five months pregnant having the time of our lives. Jimmy was in his prime and Jenn was not yet uncomfortable enough that an hour and a half drive back and forth, walking half a mile, and sitting on a blanket on the grass wasn’t impossible.

The end was the memory

But, like so many memories you keep after you lose someone, the concert isn’t the part that made that whole night stick in my broken brain. We drove home to Clarksville north of Nashville to find utter chaos. You see Jenn loved rabbits. We had two house bunnies; Conan the Bunbarian and Attila the Bun.

Obviously, I oversaw naming conventions in our family.

Jenn with Conan and Attila

We came home after that long day to find they had escaped their cage and proceeded to do what bunnies do best. Poop. Everywhere. I’m talking an entire kitchen, dining room, and living room with little rabbit pellets absolutely everywhere. I still have no idea to this day (A) how they got out of their cage and (B) how they produced such an incredible amount of poop in about 8 hours.

We walked in and once the shock wore off fell into hysterics. It was just so ridiculous. Why do we have rabbits as house pets? Why do they produce so much poop? How is this real? We were in tears laughing and holding each other up.

Then we got to work carefully vacuuming up all the little pellets. Fortunately, rabbit poop is super easy to clean up in the end and went to bed with sore bellies.

The fortune of hard memories

Seeing that Jimmy Buffett passed away brought back a fond memory tinged with some sadness.  But in the end, it also brought back that laughter and the incredible joy of a moment as our lives were laid out in front of us. It’s heartbreaking that we lost her and the baby just two months later but also how fortunate am I that I got to have those memories at all?

Some people go their whole lives without having moments of joy like the many I have experienced for these soon to be 58 years. After Jenn came a new life which brought me four incredible kids and now four grandchildren. I saw the world. I found love again. I have witnessed history and been in the room where it happened.

When you’ve experienced grief it’s easy to lament what you’ve lost. I know I wasted a lot of years lost to grief and trying to keep it hidden and buried only to have it poison what should have been good in my life.

We must also celebrate the joy of the moments you shared and remember those who have gone with love and the gift of time that you had. I had 9-years with Jennifer and one raucous night with Jimmy Buffett.

Those are memories we can hold on to as we make new ones. Move forward with joy not backwards with pain.

A Note:

Thank you for subscribing and your patience with my brief hiatus. I appreciate you being part of this community. More to come this fall as we get ready for the elections and this critical moment for our nation.